Episodes:Episode 008

episode eight: LUCY = FKKT

Bashe: ...and that is how I single-handedly ended WWII

Fisk: heh

Lucy: *claps*

Darkhaven has joined channel #fisk_maps

Darkhaven: NINTENDO SIXTY FOOOOOOOOOOUR!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

Araya: HEH

Darkhaven: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fisk: dude, it's just an n64

Bashe: rofl

Darkhaven: N64!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Araya: wow, just wow

Lucy: it's just sitting in my room...wanna play it?

Darkhaven: OH! MY! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111111111111111

Lucy: it's just an N64

Bashe: lol, n64 kid

Darkhaven: ya

Suddenly, Cannibal Corpse - Hammer Smashed Face just starts playing for no reason

Fisk: EVERYONE HEADBANG

Quite a show of energy begins. All the boys headbang, although their style differs. Darkhaven and Fisk use typical up-down movements, but Bashe swings his head in a circular fashion, and Araya uses up-down as well as side-to-side, his trademark style. Lucy is actually dancing to the song, as if it were Madonna's "Into the Groove". Sheila is swinging her fingers back and forth and gently dancing as if it were Frank Sinatra. This goes on until the end of the song, which ends approximately 4 minutes later

Bashe: WOOT SAUCE

Fisk: absolutely priceless, everyone

Darkhaven: I GOT IT ON VIDEO LOL

Lucy: YAY

Araya: heh

Bashe: I'm like the only one who has not long hair

Fisk: nah, look at my hair

Bashe: oh yeah kekeke ^_^

Araya: I would have liked to see Lucy headbang...long hair headbanging FTW

Lucy: heh

Sheila: what's "headbanging?"

everyone, even Lucy: O_O

Sheila: oh...didn't think it was so popular! =D

Bashe: wow, just wow

THE NEXT DAY

Bashe: I'm the only one in the channel  O_o

Fisk has joined channel #fisk_maps

Chanserv sets +ad +o +power +supreme to Fisk

Fisk: hey

Bashe: where is everyone?

Fisk: let's see...my mom spent the night with Ryan's dad...Lucy stayed over at Elizabeth's...Darkhaven is doing...god, who knows what?

Bashe: hehzor

Araya has joined channel #fisk_maps

Araya: DUDES, check this shit OUT!

Araya: http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/4632/31337yr4.png

Bashe: *getting extremely nervous* u-um, who d-d-did that fan a-art?

Fisk: um...wtf...that kind of looks like you Bashe

Bashe: um, no...first of all, Slayer has never made navy blue shirts, only BLACK

Araya: yeah, but the whole...Lucy's feet thing

Bashe: I thought I told you already I'm not grossly interested in that anymore

Araya: heh, yeah...but still

Ryan has joined channel #fisk_maps

Ryan: OH. MY. GOD.

Fisk: hey Ryan

Ryan: dude, Fisk, I'm fucking SCARRED for life

Fisk: what happened?

Ryan: I went into _my_ bedroom to use my computer when I saw the horror of all horrors...your mom and my dad...ON each other

Fisk: !?

Ryan: D E A D  serious, dude...just right there in MY room of ALL places in the FUCKING world

Fisk: ...GOD DAMMIT! *kicks over trash can*

Fisk: it's bad enough they can't live by their own rules, but now YOU have to be scarred for it? That's bullshit!

Bashe: hmmm...where have I seen this before?

Araya: *cough* better days chapter 11 *cough*

Bashe: orite

Ryan: well dude...I don't think I can ever look at your mom the same way again now...

Fisk: man...it's just not fair for you to be subjected to that kind of crap in your own bedroom

Ryan: yeah, it sucks...hey why don't we drive down to the aracde and just kill time or something

Fisk: sure, why not

Everyone gets in Fisk's car, a 1987 Ford

Fisk: how about some tunes

Fisk puts in his CD. The song lands on Slayer - Kill Again

Ryan: heh

Araya: heh

Bashe: heh

They drive off to the arcade

Fisk Ryan Bashe and Araya are now known as Fisk|arcade Ryan|arcade Bashe|arcade Araya|arcade

Lucy has joined channel #fisk_maps

Lucy: ...hello?

Lucy: oh, at the arcades I see...well, I guess I'm by myself

Longfellow has joined channel #fisk_maps

Longfellow: hello Lucy

Lucy: hello...I think

Longfellow: where's your mom

Lucy: um...somewhere else I guess

Longfellow: well goldurnit

Longfellow has left channel #fisk_maps (I NEED SHEILA NOW)

Lucy: weird

Lucy: well...now with the boys gone I can...do some stuff

Lucy: hehehe

Meanwhile...

Fisk|arcade Ryan|arcade Bashe|arcade and Araya|arcade are now known as Fisk Ryan Bashe and Araya

They board Fisk's car and it drives off

Fisk: that was fun, eh?

Ryan: sure was. Makes me feel better about "the incident"

Fisk: heh

Araya: ROFL

Bashe: what's funny man?

Araya: I remember one time when my family and I were done eating at a restaurant and I was in the parking lot when all of a sudden I farted hard and felt something chunky in my underwear

Bashe: O_O  ROFL!!!

Fisk: ahahaha that's classic

Ryan: HEH

Fisk turns on the radio. He happens to land on Vennesa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles"

everyone: O_O

2 minutes later

Fisk *with tears going down his face* AND YOU KNOW I'D WALK A THOUSAND MILES IF I COULD JUST SEE YOU TONIGHT

everyone: AND I, I DON'T WANNA LET YOU KNOW I DROWN IN YOUR MEMORY

The car parks in the driveway

Fisk: well...*wiping tears* we shall never speak of this again

Ryan: agreed

Bashe: crystal

Araya: heh

The boys go into the house to see Lucy suffering in massive pain in Fisk's room

Fisk: Lucy? Lucy! What happened!?

Lucy: *holding a bleeding hole in her stomach* I-I don't know! I just came home and no one was here so I took a nap and I suddenly felt huge pain and I was bleeding! OH GOD! Fisk it hurts so bad! *crying*

Fisk: *running over to Lucy and embracing her* no! I'm not going to lose my only twin!

Lucy: *sobbing* please don't let it end like this! I love you so much Fisk...

Fisk: *beginning to cry...again* I won't ever let you go...

Bashe: I'm calling 911

Araya: good idear

Ryan: I'm going to find help

Lucy: never...let me...die...

Fisk: no Lucy...Lucy!?

Lucy is no longer breathing

Fisk: oh my god...no...not again...I let it happened when I was 9, I'm not about to let it happen again!

Sheila has joined channel #fisk_maps

Sheila: I'm home, baby

Fisk: MOM! Lucy is dying!

Sheila: what!? NO! Call help NOW!

Bashe: done

Several minutes later

Officer: okay, she's not dead yet. We are getting her to the hospital as fast as we can. She might make it

Sheila: o-okay...

Bashe: damn...this is terrible

Fisk: m-mom...I'm sorry *choke*

Sheila: *hugging Fisk, both crying* shhshh...momma should have been home, baby

Fisk: n-no...it's *sob* my fault, I should have been here for her, this is my channel

Bashe: ...more deja-vu

Araya: not the time, Bashe, you're waaay off

Ryan: man..

All head for the hospital later

Doctor: you may go see Lucy now

Sheila: come on baby, let's go see Lucy

Fisk: *sad sigh* I don't know...I don't want to see her in pain anymore

Sheila: it's okay, hon, they've done all they can to make her feel better

Bashe: yeah Fisk, let's go to see how she's doing

Everyone goes into Lucy's room

Sheila: ...Lucy?

Lucy begins to move very slowly and eventually opens her eyes...

Lucy: ...m-mom? Oh, everyone! How are...you?

Fisk: *struggling to fight back tears* ...Lucy, I'm sorry I wasn't there

Lucy: oh...Fisk, it's okay. What...matters now is that you cared enough to do...this...for me. Thank you

Fisk: *hugging Lucy and now crying* I love you so much, Lucy...I would never let anything like this happen to you if I was there

Lucy: *now crying slightly* I don't think...it could have been avoided

Fisk: wait do you mean?

Lucy: I...don't really...know...it just seems like even...if...you were there...it would have still...happened

Fisk: nonsense...

Lucy: I'm...getting tired...

Fisk: all right...you should rest as much as you can

Lucy: thanks...for stopping by...

Sheila: we love you very much Lucy, don't ever give up hope *wipes a tear*

Bashe: see ya later

Araya: later

Ryan: bye

Lucy: bye everyone!

A FEW DAYS LATER

Lucy is now feeling better and is back home. Still a bit weak from the incident, but better

Bashe: it's good to see you well, Lucy. I was really worried

Fisk: we all were dearly worried for you, Lucy

Lucy: it's okay guys...I'm fine now

Araya: so what was that you said about this whole thing being "inevitable"

Lucy: oh...that. Well...it's not like anyone did it to me, I was just sleeping and bam, I saw the hole and the pain began

Fisk: ugh...I'm still sorry

Lucy: it's all right, brother

Darkhaven has joined channel #fisk_maps

Darkhaven: N64!!!!

Bashe: Dark, we're a bit serious at the moment

Darkhaven: oh? what happened?

Bashe: *explains what happend*

Darkhaven: oh...I'm sorry, I wasn't aware

Araya: well...she's okay now

Ryan: yeah, it's good to see her feeling better

Darkhaven: oh yeah! it's always good to see that

Lucy: oh, thanks you guys. =)

Bashe: so one time I farted it was funny

everyone: ROFL

Bashe: wait...something didn't seem right about that one

Fisk: you're right...usually that's the end of the episode

Bashe: so um...

Araya: ...*burps*

Ryan: heh

Bashe: man, this is awkward

Darkhaven: LET'S GO RACING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kirby has joined channel #fisk_maps

Kirby: NO! NEVER AGAIN!

Kirby has left channel #fisk_maps (NO)

Darkhaven: ...wtf, was that Kirby?

Lucy: looked like it

Fisk: so...if it's not the end of the episode, what is?

Bashe: hmmm...something seems weird...

Bashe: OMG LUCY I LUB UR FEET I WANT TO BE WITH U FOREVER

Lucy: oh Bashe...that's really sweet. ;)

Bashe: O_O

Lucy: in fact, I'm going to let you watch me play Doom with my feet! Come on in to my room!

Bashe: OH. MY. GOD.

Fisk: o_o

Bashe and Lucy head for Lucy's room

Araya: now THAT was some seriously fucked up shit right there, I'll tell you what

Ryan: she just...let him say that and now she's rewarding him?

Fisk: that's a lot different

Sheila: yeah...usually it's "FU BASHE" or something

Araya: seriously

Fisk: hmmm...

Meanwhile, in Lucy's room

Lucy: this is a lot of fun! Fisk should try to DM me like this!

Bashe: *drooling noises*

N64_kid has joined channel #fisk_maps

N64_kid: NINTENDO 64!!!!!!!!!!! Hey why are you staring at that kitty's feet?

Bashe: ...wait, why did you spawn in Lucy's room?

N64_kid: who's Lucy? LOL

Bashe: you're too young to understand what is going on here. Go play N64

N64_kid: OOOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, in the other room

Fisk: *plays Necrophobic by Slayer*

Araya: I LOVE THIS ONE

Fisk: here, watch me sing it. STANGULATIONMUTILATIONCANCEROFTHEBRAIN LIMBDISSECTIONAMPUTATIONFROMAMINDDERANGED! ASPHYXIATIONSUFFICATIONGASPINGFORAIR EXPLAINTOMETHEFEELINGAFTERSITTINGINTHECHAIR!

Sheila: whoa, how did you sing that fast Araya?

Araya: TALENT

Sheila: orite

Ryan: I like emo...

Fisk: WHAT THE FUCK NO

Ryan was kicked from channel #fisk_maps by Fisk (NOT FUNNY)

Ryan has joined channel #fisk_maps

Ryan: lol jk

Fisk: heh

Ryan: I FUCKING HATE MY PARENTS THEY RUIN MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE I'M GUNNA CUT MYSELF NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Araya: rofl

Sheila: I don't know...Untitled by Simple Plan really jerked at my heartstrings

Fisk: well...you're a woman...they dig that kind of stuff, even if they're not emo

Sheila: =)

Araya: man, how long has Bashe been in Lucy's room?

Darkhaven: about 30 minutes

Fisk: wow...that's a record for sure

N64_kid: *busting into the room* OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Fisk: ?

N64_kid: I BEAT SUPER MARIO SIXTY FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUR OOOOOOH MMMYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Araya: heh

N64_kid: YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

Fisk: calm down little buddy

Araya: heh, n64

N64_kid: hehehehe NINTENDO 64!!!!!

Sheila: so...who wants dinner I guess?

Darkhaven: ME babe

Sheila: oh you... =)

Bashe: I. HAVE. RETURNED!!!

Fisk: oh...

Bashe: TODAY IS _THE_ GREATEST DAY OF ALL TIME

Sheila: so...what'd you do in there?

Bashe: stuff...JUST stuff...it was TOO fucking hot I can't even explain

Fisk: um, let me guess...you just stared at her feet while she played Doom with them?

Bashe: NO!!!!

Bashe: ...yeah, dead on

Fisk: wow...just wow

Bashe: I can't believe she let me do it!

Fisk: I know...that is HIGHLY unusual

Araya: I'm used to the whole "lol feet" "FUCK YOU DOUCHE" "omg" scenario

Bashe: same here...but she let me do it! Today has to be like "Bashe Day" or something

Darkhaven: LETS SELEBREET!!!!!!

Bashe: let's go to Monster Bob's Uber Mega Fun Incredible House!!!

Fisk: nah

Bashe: k

Ryan: GOD DAMMIT SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH YOU STOLE MY FUCKING CLOUDSONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sheila: Ryan! Language!

Ryan: uh...how come they can cuss but not me?

Sheila: because I'm seeing your dad and he told me not to let you cuss

Ryan: I'm still scarred for life because of what happened IN MY ROOM

Sheila: oh...that...I'm sorry Ryan, I really am

Ryan: just forget it, Sheila

Lucy has left channel #fisk_maps (brb)

Bashe: wonder where she went...

Araya: I'm going to go follow her and see if she's okay

Araya has left channel #fisk_maps

Araya: okay, now let's see where she goes

Lucy has joined channel #emo_kids_rule

Araya: *spits out coffee* WTF!!??!!?!?!?

Araya has joined channel #emo_kids_rule

Araya: LUCY!

Lucy: oh hey Tom! You look really handsome today

Araya: O_O  okay, I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. Anyways, WHY ARE YOU IN THIS CHANNEL!?

Lucy: I dunno...I guess I like emo music now. It really speaks to me

Araya: *spits out coffee...again* WHAT THE FUCK

Emo_Boy: liek ooomg ur that lead singer of slayer all u do is screem about the holocaust ur soooo talentless unilek fall out boy which maens something to me

Araya: shut the fuck up you whiner

Emo_Boy: liek omg don't say that its' soooo angry

Lucy: the kid has a point. No need to be so hateful towards my friends

Araya: WRONG!!! *lol lex luthor* These aren't your friends, your friends are in #fisk_maps!

Lucy: I know, but these kids are my friends too

Falloutboi17: ya so liek get out newbey

Araya: right. You're telling ME, the lead singer/bassist of Slayer, one of the most awesome heavy metal bands out there that can beat the shit out of any crappy emo band, to get out

Falloutboi17: dats what I said you lamer

Araya: all right, eat THIS!

Araya wrenches Falloutboi17's head 180 degrees

Araya: faggot

Lucy: HOW DARE YOU

Araya: um, what? I'm just saving you from these whiny little homos

Lucy: GET OUT! NOW!

Master_of_emos: +b Araya

Araya was kicked from channel #emo_kids_rule by Master_of_emos (you're liek sooooo mean)

Araya has joined channel #fisk_maps

Araya: guys, I have HORRIBLE news

Bashe: what, you use Apple computers?

Araya: hey fuck you

Bashe: lolol, internets

Araya: anyways, LUCY is emo now

Fisk: dude, that is NOT funny. You're a horrible liar

Araya: dude, I am DEAD fucking serious. She's in the channel #emo_kids_rule

Fisk: oh. my. god. My own sister that I love very much...emo?

Ryan: WOW

Sheila: I don't see what's so bad-

Bashe: NO SHEILA DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FINISHING THAT SENTENCE

Sheila: oops!

Fisk: that can't be right, it just can't...my sister doesn't like emo...no, just no...this isn't happening

Anselmo has joined channel #fisk_maps

Anselmo: hey y'all

Fisk: Philip Anselmo, of Pantera?

Anselmo: you go it

Fisk: what an honor!

Anselmo: thanks kid

Ryan: I think I just shit my pants

Anselmo: I couldn't help but notice that your sister is in the freaking emo kids channel

Fisk: I know...it's terrifying

Araya: that's it...I have the ultimate plan. An emo kid massacre!! WE WILL ANNIHILATE ALL THE EMOS and maybe Lucy will see the error of her ways.

Anselmo: excellent!

Fisk: sounds good

Bashe: *cocks the wolf3d chaingun (rofl)* let's do it

Sheila: don't count me in, I won't participate in such barbaric behavior

Ryan: okay, go fuck my dad some more then

Sheila: *ouchface* RYAN! THAT IS VERY RUDE!

Ryan: lol k

all but Sheila have left channel #Fisk_maps

Araya Fisk Anselmo Bashe Darkhaven Ryan and N64_kid have joined #emo_kids_rule

Bashe: 3 2 1 DIE!!!

The massacre begins. Anselmo violently runs to any emo kid he can find and begins beating them violently (lol porn). Araya uses the mighty slayer sword on any emo kid that comes his way! Bashe takes the wolf3d chaingun and mows them down one row after another. Darkhaven takes the doom chainsaw and decapitates them as they run towards him. N64_kid uses his ULTIMAET n64 scream to explode the heads of emo kids. Ryan takes Fisk's car and begins running over the emos. Finally, the numbers of emos die down and there is only two left. Fisk takes the doom rocket launcher and blows them to smitherines. ALL EMO KIDS PWNED!!

Bashe: VICTORY!!!

Araya: wow, blood EVERYWHERE

Anselmo: that was the most fun I've had in a long time

Fisk: we've done it. Now Lucy will finally realize her mistake...right?

Lucy: *looking extremely pissed* WHY did you FUCKING do that you fucking PRICKS!

Suddenly, Lucy's eyes glow red with rage...she suddenly grows humungous!!! Pieces of metal and flesh start to fly around in the around and cling to her. Bashe's wolf3d chaingun flies into her hands and so does the slayer sword! All that looks nomral on Lucy is what's still exposed of her face.

Fisk: OH MY FUCKING GOD NOW HONESTLY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

Bashe: ...I think...I think I just imploded

Araya: OMG

Anselmo: jesus christ

Darkhaven: what the fuck, man

Ryan: ...

Lucy is now known as DEATH_KNIGHT

DEATH_KNIGHT: TOD IST MEIN LEBEN

Bashe: ...what...the...fuck

Lavos Battle 2 music begins to play

Fisk: guess we gotta beat this bitch

The battle begins

Bashe takes another wolf3d chaigun out of his pocket and starts shooting. Fisk takes the cleaver launcher and cleavers fly into Lucy's face. Lucy shoots down Araya and Anselmo

Anselmo: FUCK i'm hit

Araya: ya me too

Fisk: BITCH

Fisk shoots cleavers nonstop right into Lucy's face. She is weakened

Bashe: EAT THIS

Bashe throws 4 blue shells at Lucy! MASSIVE FUCKING DAMAGE!

DEATH_KNIGHT: ARGH

Fisk takes the slayer sword from her hands and jams it into her forhead. SHE IS BRAINDEAD

DEATH_KNIGHT: DURRRR

Fisk takes the wolf3d chaingun and fires all 400 rounds left in it. Lucy eventually cannot take the pain and her stomach literally explodes outwards in a mass of blood and intestines. She tries to control it but no good, it just spills everywhere.

DEATH_KNIGHT: ALLES IST VERLOREN!!!

Lucy collapses onto a mound of her own innards

Bashe: YEEEEEAAAAH!!!

Ryan: we did it

Araya: heh

Anselmo: heh

Darkhaven: YOU'RE WINNER

Fisk: yeah...but now what?

Lucy, or DEATH_KNIGHT, suddenly deteriorates back into plain old Lucy. Fisk picks up her unconscious body and takes her back to Fisk maps and lays her on her bed in her room.

HOURS LATER...

Fisk is sitting in a chair directly next to Lucy's bed, simply staring at her waiting for her to awaken. Bashe is located at the foot of the bed. Everyone else is standing by

Lucy: *slowly opening eyes* ...hey Fisk...what happened? I have a massive headache...

Fisk: Lucy, you're up! Well...let me tell you what happned

Lucy: BASHE! Stop staring at my feet!

Bashe: LOL

Lucy kicks Bashe in the face

Bashe: OW FUCK

Fisk: anyways-

Fisk explains what happened

Lucy: wow...that's incredible...

Bashe: well...I can see she's back to normal!

Araya: heh

Anselmo: heh

Bashe: well...hey lucy will you play doom with your feet for me

Lucy: no, pervert

Bashe: yep, back to normal all right!

Sheila: lol

Ryan: heh

Darkhaven: LOL SKEETSKEET

N64_kid: NINTENDO 64!!!!!!!!!

Bashe: one time I farted it was funny

everyone: ROFL

the ent (finally!)